Understanding Transitions

I am currently reading Transitions by William Bridges. Interestingly enough, someone who I admire and respect very much lent this book to me. For quite sometime, she insisted I read the book. Although I saw the enthusiasm and insistence every time she told me to read it, I did not have the time, or even think I had the time to sit down and read about transitions. Little did I know, this book would have knowledge I need at this moment in my life.

As a 20-something year old young woman working towards building a solid foundation and independence in my personal, professional and social life, I find myself in a period that most of my peers seem to be going through as well. The stress of living off your own earnings, gaining work experience, developing professional partnerships, working on personal relationships and friendships, staying fit and healthy, having hobbies and personal projects and having a vibrant social life are all part of this novice period in our lives as 20-something year olds. The excitement, the stress, the anxiety, the intensity and the awesomeness that come with all these desires to live a full and meaningful life manifest themselves in our daily routines. We have the ability to impact every aspect of our lives and we tend to want to control every outcome. But the thing is, we can’t always control what happens to us. External circumstances can come in like a wicked curve ball you have yet to learn how swing against. And that is okay. It is alright to not to be able to control everything that happens to us. But what we can control is our reactions and how we handle a certain situation.

In William Bridges book, I read the following line that resonated with me:

“Not coincidentally, it is also the transition rather than change that people notoriously resist.”

I find there to be a lot of truth in that line. I can see it in others but most importantly I see it in myself. I have always been so calculated and deliberate about every aspect of my personal, professional and social life. And as life goes, external circumstances out of my control began to invade my cookie-cutter, robust way of doing things. I labeled situations in my life as successes and failures and stuck to the definitions both those words had in the dictionary. I have always been expecting of change. Whether it was packing my bags and moving to the United States to get my degree and play Division 1 volleyball or moving on my own, I have accepted all the benefits and consequences that come with it. What I have found challenging is the transition period. Allowing myself to sometimes let stillness speak has been a challenge I have been working on a daily basis. The transition period between an end and a new beginning can seem overwhelming but without going through the transition, there can be no true delight in the new beginning, the change. The transition period is an opportunity for you to discover what you want out of life. It allows you to recalculate the equation to your desired outcome, whether it is in your personal, professional or social life.

Transitions are an opportunity to decide what you want to let go of and what you want to let into your life. The energy you send out into the universe and to all those around you will have an impact on how things will turn out in life. Yes, there will be periods of distress, anxiety and fear. The key is to acknowledge all these emotions and work through them. Someone once told me: have faith, trust life. Those words are not always easy to take in when you are in a period of transition but you must learn to accept them as a fact of life. The best part about a new journey towards a goal is not necessarily the final outcome but all the knowledge, skills and experience you gain along the way.

So, whether you are 20-something, living what they call the “mid-life crisis” or over the age of 65, transitions are part of life. Instead of resisting the transition, embrace it, all of it, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. External circumstances may not always be in your favor, but your reactions are yours to own. Be true to yourself, listen to what is within, let others help and most importantly, have faith and trust life.