Communication: A Proactive Approach

Communication is key. We see this statement on cheesy bumper stickers, in every field and in every situation where communication either affected the outcome positively or negatively. While I may be one preaching to the choir or acting as a redundant recorder, I want to bring up a beneficial element that may give you the upper hand. Whether it is addressing a certain topic in your personal life or going for that big promotion, proactive communication is key, without it, you leave room for doubt, confusion and above all failure.

A proactive approach takes commitment, perseverance and determination. Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines proactive as: acting in anticipation of future problems, needs and changes. Anticipation affects us all. We create a sense of anticipation through people, time and situations. Our social construction over a certain element can lead us to trigger physical, mental and emotional signs of anticipation. Pro-activeness prepares you to face anticipation with confidence helping you to achieve your goals, needs and greeds with great success. Communication is not exempt from a proactive approach. In fact, your proactive approach to communication can lead you to get what you want, when you want it and how you want it.

Seems easy and simple? Well most people stay complacent. We don't want to hurt people's feelings or step on peoples' toes. We rather quietly work our way up a boring ladder instead of bursting the status quo bubble. In the end, we feel disappointed in ourselves, sometimes blaming others for our misfortunes or even blame it on bad timing. All this is caused by lack of communication. Communication is verbal and nonverbal. For example, want that big promotion at the office? Let your supervisors know how much you want that opportunity by doing your work with quality and exceed the expectation of your job requirements. Hard work pays off! Additionally, be verbal about your desire, speak to your superiors about your ability to be a productive member of your organization, company or entity. Talk about how you want to learn and grow in the "biz" and believe this opportunity to be a great one for you to do so. This is one example of proactive verbal and nonverbal cues to get what you want, when you want it and how you want it. Nothing is impossible until you say it is, and even then, you create your own limits.

Looking for a new goal this year? Pick one thing, just one to start off, and communicate about it. Whether it is having a better relationship with your significant other, starting your own business, getting in shape or landing that dream job, make a plan to proactively communicate with those that can help you get where you want to be. Help will be given to those who ask. I know, I know. It is easier said then done. But, give yourself a chance and try it, you might be surprised with the outcome and above all with yourself. I am not trying to have my very own cheesy bumper sticker or ugly coffee mug made, but I am trying to share a secret that has worked for me in the past and continues to do so.

Proactively communicate! Be the one that inspires yourself and others to achieve greatness in your daily routine and overall life.

The Ripple Effect

We have all witnessed it. Some one starts singing a fine tune at a party, and everyone chimes in. I like to call this the ripple effect. Whether it is standing up for your rights at work or getting everyone on board on an idea, the ripple effect is present in our lives. I'd like to briefly talk about the ripple effect in changes in our close proximities that have the ability to have a greater impact in the long run.

Every great innovator, philosopher, leader, scientist and every average joe has the capacity to initiate the ripple effect. It is not some esoteric, unattainable thing only touchable or fathomable by the gods. It is applicable to you and me and every one in between. As I see it, the ripple effect is ignited by an idea, a person, a circumstance, a predisposition or advantage and its ability and potential to make something big out of it. This "thing" has the capacity to bring people together and even divide them. It's potential is so great and the worst part is, it sometimes goes unnoticed. When it goes unnoticed, it is never truly valued and its potential stagnates where the idea once flourished. I am here to tell you that you can have the advantage and the edge by seeking ideas and opportunities to better your personal, social, academic and career life. You have the capacity to change it on a personal level just as much as on a greater level with others.

I challenge you to find one thing in any part of your life and to push its potential. Whether it is brining some change to your life or to a group, seek to make it the very best it could be. If you do it on a personal level and succeed, you might create the ripple effect and try other "things" in your life. You could even inspire those around you to do the same, creating a ripple effect with your surroundings, that could lead to a greater ripple effect in their surroundings, and so on. If you choose to do something that could affect others, just know you will have to find a creative way to get others on board. You shouldn't see this as a challenge but as an ability to push your limits as a leader and a team players all at once. 

The ripple effect has potential. This idea is so accessible yet so unexploited that it seems that only a few have the ability to use it. But I am telling you, it's possible, if you believe in that idea and above all believe in yourself, you will ignite the ripple effect. I hope you take the challenge and see how it van work for you. Who knows, maybe you'll be the next best thing,

This Christmas...

It's that time of year again. People rushing through the malls, booking flights home, making plans to visit family and taking time off for the holidays. It's a time that many look forward to because they have family and friends to embrace during a time we call the "holidays". Society convinces us that it is the most wonderful time of the year. And for many, it is. But for a few, it is dreadful, depressing and lonely. 

Growing up, my family always held a rather large Christmas Eve party. My parents gathered close family and friends at this dinner party. Each year, they made sure that these people had a tradition they could hold on to through time. I've seen this party grow from 15 to almost 40 people. Every guest looks forward to this party and it's not only for my mother's famous biscotti. It's because it makes family feel good being together under one roof, and for those  joining the Zeroual tradition, it makes them feel welcomed and loved. It doesn't take much to make a family or a friend feel welcomed to such a tradition. It makes bonds and friendships run as deep as blood. 

I have learned so much from this tradition. My parents have opened their home to so many unconditionally and lovingly. Their kindness and generosity are what I love the most about the holidays. It's not the great food, the presents, the music or the games. It is the good feeling inside of me knowing my parents are genuinely exquisite individuals and a dynamic couple.

This holiday, don't think about the lavishing gifts you can give to one another. Think bigger! Look at those around you and make sure that you show people just how much they mean to you. It's not what you give to those around you, it's how you give. And, if all you can afford are good words, make sure you share abundantly. You never know who's day or holiday you might brighten. Make kindness and feel good words become a holiday tradition you carry with you all year long. 

Self-Awareness Leads To Authencity

Dear Znews readers,

I have been recently introduced to the great works of Virginia Satir. I believe that her work is fruitful and refreshing for all those pursuing work with the goal of interacting with others. For myself, I know my intentions are to work in the fields of peacebuilding and conflict resolution. With that in mind, it is imperative for me to know myself in order to help others pursue the same journey. Gratitude and self-awareness are key to help yourself and others. Without those two elements, your endeavours will lack substance. The degree of how genuine your acts truly are will be questioned. But if you allow yourself to listen and assert who you are in your field, you will attract positive results in your interactions with others.

This post is short but I have included a brief article by Virginia Satir. This brief blurb demonstrates how we are ever-changing and that we have the choice whether or not to discard certain habits or perspectives that are not fitting to who we truly are. Your authenticity as a human being is what helps you attract others in a positive and productive way. Read it and see how it applies to you.


My Declaration of Self Esteem

I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me.
Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it --
I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions,
whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.
I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me,
I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with
all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know
-- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the
puzzles and ways to find out more about me. However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever
I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought,
and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that
which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive,
and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me.
I am me, and I am Okay.

Work Hard And, Don’t Forget To Play

I am currently in my midterm week in graduate school. During this time, my stress level takes new heights. From having an internship, work, coaching volleyball and being at school full time, I sometimes forget that decompressing is vital for recharging my batteries. I believe most people find themselves in this pattern. Constantly busy with our dense schedules, we can sometimes forget how fun and a little play can help us become more efficient and happier in our work. I have always believed in the following expression: work hard, play hard. Now, sometimes this saying can be taken to extremes. We tend to work hard all week and then find ourselves living our weekends to the extremes with social activities that make us tired, irritable and more likely to make poor decisions. I am not saying going out, having a little fun is going to ruin your life, but how you do it can. That’s why I believe in having a little play in every day. It builds up gradually, which makes you less likely to go from one extreme to the other.

I know what you are thinking. You don’t have time. You have a family, your have bills to pay, grades to make, responsibilities! Well, I am here to tell you that if that is your excuse, you are never going to be able to enjoy life and all your hard work. And I have come to know that most people who don’t take step one never take step two. That is why; I am asking you to try it out, even if it’s only for a few days to a week. Every day, for 30 minutes to an hour do something you love. Whether it is going for a walk with a friend, exercising, writing, painting or even just meditating, do something you love. You have to find the time. Time is a precious gem to us. And if your life is as equally important as your time, you should make time for a little play. You can even have different activities for each day. This adds variety and never makes that 30 minutes to an hour period boring or routinely.

Over the years, I have used this technique every day as a distressing activity so that every time I go back to my work, homework or responsibilities, I feel like I had a mini vacation and I am refueled. Your mind deserves to be exercised in every possible way, and that includes doing something you love outside of your daily routine. Personally, I exercise, every morning. And it heals, my mind, body, heart and soul. Whether it is going for a run or being in a gym, it allows me to benefit physically and mentally from my obligations. I hope you take a moment every day; so you can reap the benefits of the famous saying work hard, play hard.

#1 Rule: Be Authentic

Life is full of challenges and obstacles. You are faced with success and failure every day. From the moment you wake up, you interact with family, friends, coworkers and the general population. Daily routines are filled with obligations and responsibilities. And in the end, you hope that all your daily endeavors reach optimal outcomes. Life is a manifestation of our social construction. In our minds, we decide what kind of career we want to have, what friends we want to align with, the type of partner we want to share our time with and the type of lifestyle we want to live. Our predispositions come from past experiences, choices and actions we have taken. Our current situation is based on the past, and the present determines what will happen in our future.  That being said, how do we reach these “optimal outcomes” in our lives? How do we get what we want?

Well, I think it all begins with setting goals. Long-term, mid-term and short-term goals are imperative to achieve successful outcomes. There are many ways you can begin to get what you want. Some people enjoy writing their goals down and putting those goals in a place they can see every day. It keeps them accountable and aware of the desired outcomes. Other people make a mental list in their head and constantly think about every thing they want to achieve in their lives. Personally, I like to write my goals because it makes me be more honest about what I want. Whether it is about my personal life, social life, career or even my health, writing down what I want is an affirmation that I am putting out into the universe. It also allows me to change and alter the goals accordingly. Everyone is different so find the goal setting approach that best suits you.

The following step is the actions you take to achieve those goals. I find that the people in my life who have achieved their goals have been very proactive towards achieving their desired outcomes. These people had one attribute in common, authenticity. Their actions stemmed with a belief in their goals and themselves. They knew what they were doing, and worked towards their goals in a straight line rather than banana route to them. You can feel the positive energy and confidence they have in each step they take towards arriving to their destination. Never quitting. They get back up if they fail and try again and again until they achieve their goal. Always being honest, humble and modest in the process, authentic people will always have the helping had they need and the unshakable desire and willpower to get what they want.

Anyone can be authentic. It’s a question about being honest about your goals. Sometimes we say we want something, but really, it is a secondary desire to the primary and true aspiration. Once you’ve established what your conscious and subconscious mind want, the journey to your destination can begin to be authentic. And with time, it will happen, that I am sure of it.

The Power Of Your Thoughts

The law of attraction has become a very popular practice over the years. Many have benefited from its practices in their own lives. Whether it’s in their relationships, careers, hobbies or health, the law of attraction dictates the results and outcome in their lives. I was exposed to the law of attraction at the beginning of my senior year in high school. I remembered seeing the trailer of the movie that was based on The Secret book.  I remember feeling captivated, even convinced about this concept. So, I began to read about it and applying it to my life.

My life changed instantly. I was feeling happier in my relationship, my friendships, the classroom, the volleyball court and everything in my life. Every day was another opportunity to benefit positively from the law of attraction. My largest manifestation that year was accepting a scholarship to play Division 1 volleyball in the United States. I remember mentioning that I was interested in playing post-secondary volleyball at the highest competitive level I could play while attending a good academic institution. I began to attract different programs from both Canadian and American universities. I wasn’t the best in the classroom or on the court, but I had a goal and I knew it would happen. I trained hard on and off the court and in the classroom, and I continued to believe I could and would play at that level. I would even visualize shaking the coach’s hand on a recruiting trip or receiving information from different universities. And it happened. I was seeing how much the law of attraction was working for me. By graduation, I was accepting a full-scholarship to play Division 1 Volleyball in the NCAA in the United States. I was in awe.

While I saw how the law of attraction could manifest in positive ways in my life, I have also lived moments where it made my concerns and fears turn into failure and obstacles. The law of attraction doesn’t only filter good thoughts; it can also manifest your negative thoughts into undesirable outcomes. I remember my second year in university and how miserable I was. I had lost 30 pounds from August to December, we had an unsuccessful season as a team and no one was enjoying being on the team. I remember thinking that whole semester how miserable I was and how terrible the season was going. Many of teammates felt the same way about the season. And as our negative thoughts worked together, we had found our outcome. We had talent, we worked hard but we lost to easy teams, didn’t play or act as a team and the season reflected our unhappiness. I remember how much we worked that spring season to change that mentality. Personally, I remember telling myself that I would never live a season as I did my second year. I began to be faster, stronger and happier.  I was enjoying the training, the bonding, the classroom, the weight room and everything that was in my student-athlete life. I saw how my thoughts began to change my circumstances from unfavorable to favorable. I also saw how the team had changed its mentality as well. Our success grew little by little every day, and by our season year, we had built a foundation for years to follow.

The power of your thoughts and the energy you put into them will create your life. Sometimes people tell me that this type of thought process is not for them. I always told myself, those were the people who didn’t understand it. Just because you don’t understand something doesn’t mean you have to reject it. The law of attraction controls our lives. I have had people tell me that this way of thinking is unrealistic, and that we cannot control the environment or the outcomes in our lives. I believe this to be 99.99% false. We create our social constructions, our feelings and emotions, which transform into actions and reality. Whether you are creating positive or negative thoughts, your outcome will come from them. Monitoring your thoughts all the time can be quite tasking but by being aware of the thoughts, you can begin to control the thoughts that go through your mind. When you have a negative thought, you can make yourself aware of it and change it. You have to live a very conscious and thoughtful life. When you do this, your life benefits from your ability to cultivate good thoughts even out of the bad ones. Nevertheless, you must try the law of attraction to ever understand it and reap the benefits of it.